I found this fourth habit of Covey’s See→ Do → Get paradigm intriguing because it’s name, Think Win-Win has such an active first word. “Think” implies focus; ending up in a win-win situation invariably does not happen by accident -- you have to work for and at it, and that can only happen consistently if you pay attention. This habit is almost Buddhist in that in order to make it valuable you have to live the practice. I find it appropriate that this is the first in the steps of moving from independence toward interdependence and relationship building. All the work on self: accepting responsibility for your feelings and situations; acting with a clear vision of where you are going; and setting and sticking to priorities, prepare you to recognize moments where competitive instincts can overwhelm the need to contribute to an environment that supports student achievement.
It is important to recognize that Newton’s Third Law, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction is especially applicable with relationships and the conflicts that can arise when disagreements are not managed well. If you bend your knees and push hard on the ground, the force you exert is returned immediately and you go airborne. If I go into the office or human resources with an issue to resolve and approach the situation pushing hard, then I shouldn’t be surprised to have that effort returned. Maybe I’ll “win” the argument, but I’ll probably leave exhausted, and in the wake of that moment is resentment that is sure to resurface in a future visit. I believe the meter stick against whether to lose or not is “Are you compromising your integrity?” “Are you being insincere to your mission?” Being proactive gives me the understanding that I can control what I say, think and do, while understanding that by entering the interaction with clear expectations and a mind open to a creative solution, all parties can end up with an alternative that is mutually beneficial. I can commit to practicing this Think Win-Win habit in PLC meetings by realizing that by being open to suggestion, and looking for ways to contribute to the team as opposed to leaving with something, my time will be well spent. I intend to share this outlook with my students in Positive Discipline class meetings, by showing the kids how sometimes looking for a quick resolution will give them more time to play, and even more powerful: treating one another fairly and generously will avoid conflicts altogether. In this way the entire culture of the school can change.
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December 2016
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